shawnallen50

my words

Month: August, 2014

The Wall

 

Patent Decor white small bubbles no.2873

The Wall stands
As it has always stood
As it will always stand
Inches from my face
Blocking all vision
Blankly staring back
There is no moving through the Wall
No crack or flaw to exploit
There is no going around the Wall
No movement is possible
The Wall has no words
It will not negotiate or bargain
I stand
As I have always stood
As I will ever stand
Inches from the Wall
Arms at my sides
Legs locked
In timeless numbness
That turns to searing pain
When the Wall allows me to leave
And I show it nothing
As I walk away
I tell myself that it can not win
That I will be unbroken
This day may belong to the Wall
But someday
Someday
Now the Wall
So many years in the past
Sometimes rises before my eyes
I cannot move past it
I cannot forgive
And the Wall stands
As it has always stood
As it will always stand
Inches from my face
Blocking passage
Voicelessly laughing

08-91-2014

The Lady of Winds and Voices: a dream

chasm

Suddenly, a great burden of sleep,
Like the weight of the world,
Came upon me in that humid night
and I found my way to bed.
As I slept, I dreamed and
In that dream I was in a place –
A place full of mysteries.
I knew, as one in a dream knows,
That I had traveled many years
And many miles to come to this place.
All around me was the Earth,
My feet could remember the stairs
Carved into the stone
That I’d taken down to this place.
Through a great chasm open to the sky above
I could see the slim crescent of the moon,
Though I knew it would be full
Before this night ended.
Deep within the Earth
I stood upon a ledge;
Before me a huge round hole yawned
And it was as vast and as deep
as the infinite sky overhead.
Winds rushed up from the depths
Eager to reach that sky above.
In those winds were whispers,
Voices of ancestors and
Echoes of future children:
Indecipherable songs of other times.
Then she was with me, invisibly present.
Though I never saw her, I felt her jaguar eyes
Upon me from everywhere.
I could feel purest adoration –
A love without boundary or demand –
Flow forth from her,
Sustaining and reviving me.
Without thinking, I leaned forward,
Out over the chasm,
And the winds, the voices, rushing upward
Held me, suspended over the abyss.
Arms outstretched, and feet upon the ledge
I hung over the hole and
Knew I was safe, because she was there.
She spoke, and said to me,
“You do not have to fall.”
And I woke, then, to feel the wind
of the slowly spinning fan upon my face,
And found that I’d turned
Completely around in my bed:
My head now where my feet should be.

 

08-26-2014

For Suzanne

sunrise-above-the-clouds-nature-hd-wallpaper-1920x1080-2489
Many times in life you meet someone seemingly by chance, someone who makes you feel dangerously safe, who shows you moments of beautiful terror and tells you tales of damnation and ecstasy.
Whenever you are with them you feel like you are floating in space, able to see the whole Universe at once, unable to breathe and yet not needing to at all.
When they are not with you, the thought of them takes you to a feeling of flying, far above the clouds.
With them you can think any thought, feel every emotion. Nothing is forbidden, and though the freedom exhilarates and scares you; the awe always brings you back.

I am blessed to now know so many people of this caliber at one time – more than I even knew existed.
You know who you are, and names are not what defines you. It is the quality of your hearts that binds us and lets me know when our souls are talking.
I love all of you and live in surprised gratitude that this mysterious life has brought us together!